Friday, 22 February 2013

The Chosen Ones

Pick me!

I heard years ago, “It’s not a trip until there is a U-turn”. At times my posts have a propensity to meander in a similar manner.

By my count of U-turns, my Sweetie and I made about fourteen trips last night. 

We were out in the world picking up a few things late afternoon yesterday. As it became dark, the numbers on the houses we were searching for became more difficult to see and the result was a litany of reversals. I was reminded of my days as a pizza delivery dude about ~mumble mumble~ years ago (in high school) when customers would order pizza and not turn their porch lights on. I found it astounding when they would complain the pizza was cold. Really? You didn’t think I might have to find your house to deliver the pie?

Makes me wonder how often we run around in the dark.

I was pretty grateful for having company with me while I roamed the streets trying to pick out the right house. We kibitz, laugh, swear at other drivers, get sworn at and sometimes get lost in our own town. A compatible travel companion is essential to enjoying any trip, long or short. Having Shelley with me any time I run errands makes time fly and is much more entertaining than riding alone. 

Having “chosen family” in our lives is emotionally stabilizing. Choice is the key, of course. Blood relatives come in all shapes, sizes and manner of being. Despite all efforts to not get into a heated political discussion with uncle Neb at Christmas dinner or to avoid sibling rivalries tainting the annual family picnic, it just happens. There are no guarantees with blood relations and more often than not, they know how to push your buttons... and some do every chance they get.

Chosen family are often preferable to blood relatives.

There are differing levels of emotional relationship with people in our lives. Think of it as if you’re in the centre of a bunch of circles (called circles of influence). Those whom you hold closest to you emotionally are in the “inner circle”, which is where the term comes from. People whom you hold more emotionally distant appear in circles further from the centre. The people in the closest circles are the ones most important in our lives and know us best.

The people I choose to surround myself with reflect who I am and what I believe. More often than not, the people I choose to hold closest to me affect my life much more in my later years than kith and kin. And sometimes, those people I choose to remain closest to are blood family. Aunt Martha’s propensity for pinching my cheek until she draws blood keeps her at a distance.

We don't just choose actions in our lives. We choose people as well. Those choices affect our lives as much as any decision we make.

Now if I could only manage to find this last house to pick up an antique lawn trimmer, I’d be all set. Why did we need the lawn trimmer?

At least I have the chosen one with me.