Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Falling



I've fallen and have no inclination to get up.

Why are there not cutsie poems about Fall? Something like we have for Spring: “Spring has sprung, The grass is riz, I wonder where the hotties is.” I think it’s a little difficult to write about a season that is the shoulder between summer and winter. While Fall colours are beautiful, it’s also the time of year that is a harbinger of freezing your butt off. I mean, it’s not called fall for nothing right? Anything I think of for verse seems to come out somewhat colourless despite the flush of the surrounding hills. 

Fall is flung,
A carpet of paint,
Where you are,
Is where I ain’t.

Maybe it’s the visual of falling back rather than springing ahead that’s making it difficult.

And why is it called Fall anyway? Because leaves fall from the trees or the temperature falls? Perhaps it’s the time of year the stock market traditionally plunges to a fiery death in a plume of ticker tape burning smoke. Maybe it’s supposed to be when we fall in love so we have someone to cuddle with and aren’t so wretchedly cold through the winter.

In true Fall tradition, I pulled a couple of boats, a dock and a set of boat rails out of the water. During the surgically precise procedure, I bruised a heel, cut a finger, strained a shoulder and cursed more than a few times. Oh! And I lost a critical bolt I’m going to need in the spring somewhere in the primordial muck at the bottom of the lake. Yup. Watched it fall right into the murky depths.

The season seems to be going perfectly according to Hoyle.

Which brings me to thinking about winterising and storing away my summer in the first place. I have a deeply ingrained love-hate relationship with stuff. On the one hand I know the more things I have, the more responsibility I have for taking care of them and the more time I spend doing the caretaking. On the other, I like the idea of having what I need when I need or want it. The question is, do I really need all of this stuff? Have I become so ingrained in the “have” society that I am simply a collector of items of convenience; things I might someday need and are simply magnets for dust?

I wonder sometimes, if I didn’t have all this stuff, would I then have time saved by not having to care for them (as opposed to time saved by owning every gadget known to human kind). If I had more time, I might actually go down the street to a neighbour’s and, heaven forbid, socialize?

In modern society, I have need of certain things and we all aspire to better. It’s not as if I can live in tents and at the same time, I know I own some things because I wanted them, not necessarily because they were an absolute necessity. I need to be careful in the choices I make as to what I have. Careful that I am not buying them because I think they will make me happy.

No thing will ever make me happy. That’s my job alone.

That same thought process applies to people. While I do need intimate connection (I believe it’s universal among all of us) I also recognise that no person is truly responsible for making me happy or sad. Only my reaction to what they may say or do is responsible for my emotional response and I am ultimately responsible for my reaction.

Taking care of the things I have ensures they remain in good working order. In the end, relationships I have are much more important than things. Taking care with the relationships I have ensures they remain in good working order... and stand up to the test of time.

Perhaps this is a good time of year to fall in love.

Namaste