James saw
himself pick up the chainsaw from the damp grassy meadow at his feet.
It was
almost as if he were having an out of body experience yet he knew
this was as real as what he had for breakfast. Four eggs, half a
pound of bacon, three pieces of toast, a grilled tomato and two
glasses of orange juice. Damn! Focus, Dude. From where he
stood in the field overlooking the forest, it was still safe. He
peered into the woods not one hundred feet away. It was dark and
damp within the trees and there were heavy clouds hanging overhead as
if grasping the top of the forest with soft, damp hands.
It's
not as if I've never been in there before, he thought.
James took
his first steps with slight trepidation. He glanced suspiciously at
the orange-yellow saw in his hand as if it might have suddenly taken
leave of him. It was still there. He double checked the extra can
of gasoline strapped to his back. With more purpose, he strode toward
the woods. He knew there were allies in there. He also knew of the
defenders of the tree. Oh, they wouldn't kill him and their trickery
and magic and conniving would certainly set him off his task if he
didn't concentrate.
The
ogres were the worst, he mused. They smelled like raw sewage
mixed with skunk. And their breath would kill... well... an
ogre. Once I was past the ogres, the ghosts and the field of
poison ivy, I would be fine... I think. At least I had the wolves,
hawks and rabbits on my side.
The forest
engulfed him almost immediately. Clouds, seemingly sensing something
was afoot, moved lower creating a damp haze close to the ground. The
path to the gnarled old tree was never a question; head straight for
the heart. It was where it all began. James had seen the tree on a
few occasions when he was removing other diseased trees. The bark was
grey and scarred, it was flat along the top as if it were pushed down
by the hand of God though he knew it was simply the illness
afflicting it. It spread far and wide. There were more than a dozen
large branches emanating from the twisted, stubby trunk. The patchy
clusters of leaves were a coppery, green but they didn't really
shimmer. The light they appeared to have was stolen from the energy
of the forest.
The tree
was the disease.
It was how
the tree managed to survive. It drew energy from every corner of the
forest stunting the growth of otherwise healthy trees. It seemed to
reach everywhere like a black hole eating light.
As James
stepped through the forest, damp leaves whispering at his feet, he
recognized trees he had passed before. Near the edge were saplings he
had planted recently and as he drew deeper into the woods, he saw
trees he had planted months and years before. There colour and energy
invigorated him... inspiring him to push on.
The forest
became darker... wetter... sadder.
As the fog
grew thick closer to the ground, he could hear the ogres echoed
grunts in the distance. Did they know he was here? He
pushed on single minded in his task. What will be, will be.
The
abruptness of shapes passing silently through the woods around him
took him by surprise. It wasn't the ogres. They were never quiet.
More often than not they simply waited until a hapless victim
wandered by. They were often lazy that way unless they became
agitated. James expected agitated today. They wouldn't be quiet.
A
moment after he noticed the shapes, the wolves morphed from the fog.
James stopped for a moment and watched as the entire pack appeared.
They were all varying shades of grey from almost white to almost
pitch black. The largest of the pack came up to him, nuzzled his
free hand and started ahead of him through the forest. The wolves would handle the
ogres if it came to it. They were fleet of foot, quiet and worked as
a team.
James
followed the alpha male. The alpha female circled around behind him
to make sure nothing came from the rear. The rag-tag team moved into
the forest. James could feel the mist dampening his clothing and his
hair. I hope the saw starts,
he thought.
James
heard the grunt before he saw the massive outline.
The
ogre was on James and the wolves in the blink of an eye. It's
grey-brown, pock marked skin glistening with droplets of mist. It let
out a roar akin to a tormented elephant or buffalo. James skin
crawled with the vibration of the bellowing beast. Somewhere in the
distance James heard answering roars.
Yup.
They're agitated. Crap! Time to go!
The
wolves leaped in front of the ogre. James took off running, the
alpha female and three other wolves at his side. The saw banged
awkwardly against his thigh yet he managed to keep moving forward.
The wolves kept his pace.
Branches
whipping around him caught his bare skin yet James continued to
scramble through the bush. He ignored the painful welts appearing
across his face. The struggle behind him filled the forest with
snarls from the wolves and bellows from the ogres. All the wolves had
to do was keep the ogres away from him until the tree was down. After
that, it was over. Easier said than done.
Even as he ran he could feel his trembling heart. The ogre had taken
him by surprise. What other surprises was he in for?
The
forest was alive now. Everything here knew he was coming for the tree.
Even
the tree knew.
It
wasn't long before the clearing began to emerge ahead. James broke
into the meadow. It was a field of mostly dead grasses and flowers
with the life sucked out of them. The ground became soggier. The mist
cleared then closed then cleared again. He could see the ring of
poison ivy surrounding the massive tree at the centre. And he could
hear the low moan of the ghosts. Three hawks landed on dead tree
branches on the opposite side of the clearing; waiting. The hawks
would handle the ghosts.
The
rabbits hadn't appeared. Where were they?
As
if on cue, the rabbits came out of the forest from behind him. They
went straight for the poison ivy. This wasn't regular poison ivy. It
was the spawn of the diseased tree. This ivy didn't just make a
person itch. It burned like a hot poker. Unless, that is, you were a
rabbit. Who knew rabbits ate poison ivy? James knew he wouldn't make it through the ivy on his own. The pain would be excruciating.
An
ogre burst through the trees a hundred feet away. Eight long, thunderous strides
with three wolves snarling at his heels and he was almost on top of
James. James ducked as a wooden club swished over his head. The breeze of the club swing ruffled the hair raised on the back of his neck. He scrambled past the ogre and the wolves, the cacophony of snarling and bellowing
ringing his ears. He glanced at the rabbits as he ran. Eat
faster!
The
ogre tried to turn as James rushed past. It slipped to the ground and
the wolves were on it in an instant. The wolves couldn't kill an
ogre. What they could do was inflict enough wounds to make the ogre
back off.
As he ran, turning away from the scene of ogre and wolves, the
first ghost flew through James. He recognized the ghost from his past
just before it passed through him. In an instant a feeling of deep
regret overcame him and he went to his knees. Damn it!
He bowed his head in a sudden onslaught of shame. He glanced around
and could see more ghosts. He recognized all of them. Self doubt filled him, shaking him to the core. I
haven't even reached the damned tree yet! How can I do this? I don't
know if I have it in me. I simply haven't...
One of the hawks flew by, turned and landed on his shoulder with a
whisper of wind from its wings. James turned toward the hawk who
cocked his head to one side. It's yellow-orange eyes stared at him unblinking. Okay, he thought.
James
looked around. The wolves were snarling and snapping at the ogre. Another ogre had appeared
and was already down on the ground. The hawks were corralling the
ghosts one by one. He saw the poltergeist. The one who had started all of this. The one who had planted the tree. If that one got to James, this fight was over. The hawks flew over his head in a protective shield.
The rabbits were already half way through the ivy. The war raged
around him. From somewhere deep inside, he drew the strength to get back to his
feet. His clothes muddy and sodden, he took one step. Then another.
And another. He looked at the ghosts, his face growing stern. This
is the last time you take me down.
Another
ogre appeared nearby. James started running again. The rabbits were almost
through the ivy and James followed their trail. There was little fear
in him now. Only determination. It was time.
James made it to the tree moments after the rabbits had cleared a path through the ivy.
He
heard the tree moan ominously. The first part of the war was
happening behind him. This was his battle and his alone. The wind
began to pick up whistling through the branches. Leaves swirled in the wind around him in dust
devils that grew in intensity. The sky darkened further as more cloud
settled in around the tree. The sun was almost completely blocked now.
Dusk had settled over James and the massive tree.
You
need me, the tree seemed to say.
I
don't, James replied having a
conversation in his mind.
The
tree whispered back, I have been here for you all of your
life. I have protected you. You hid in my branches and leaned on me
when you were hurt. You cannot let me go.
I
needed you long ago,
James thought. Now... NOW... you are in my way. I have
grown beyond you. I now have my own strength to lean on.
But I
protected you!, The tree's whispers became a quiet plea.
James
started the saw.
The
wind whistled louder in the branches of the tree. The tree groaned angrily and its branches flailed, often narrowly missing James. The saw roared
in his hands and ignoring everything happening around him, he cut off
one of the massive branches. Sap began pouring out of the wound. It
was blood red. A second branch swung violently in the wind catching
James in the ribs. He was flung to the ground, pain shooting through
his chest. He ignored the pain. Today was the day.
That
branch was the next he cut off.
James
continued to cut the branches off the tree. It wasn't long before he
was covered in blood red sap, sawdust and blown leaves. The tree
still struggled, the ogres and wolves still fought, the hawks kept
the ghosts at bay and he focused on the trunk. It was massive. Over
the years it had disfigured and twisted itself into a massive knot.
Piece by piece he hacked at the trunk.
It
seemed like hours before the tree began to sway. James kept hacking
pieces out until finally the tree tumbled with a massive thud to the
ground emitting one last mournful, gasping groan. He looked at the
fallen tree. It wasn't over; not quite yet.
James
stumbled over to the extra gasoline. It had separated itself from him
when the branches caught him in the ribs. He was breathing
heavily, bruised, lacerated and covered in the filth from a
monumental struggle. As he poured gasoline over the
downed branches and the massive trunk, his strength slowly came back.
He carved several deep notches in the huge stump and poured gas as
deeply in as possible. The roots have to die,
he thought.
James
stood back for a moment, thought a silent prayer, took an orange
lighter from his pocket and lit each piece of the tree. The smoke
whisked into the sky; gold, grey, brown and auburn. As each branch
burned, the ghosts began to disappear. As the trunk burned, the ivy
began to wilt. As the roots burned, the ogres fell to their knees.
James
watched fire consume the tree. Both delight and fear filled him. The
centrepiece was gone. That which he had lived with, breathed with, hidden behind and lamented over was gone.
After
an indescribable amount of time, James backed away from the inferno.
The tree no longer made any sound. The sap was no longer flowing. The
forest around him was silent; peaceful. The wolves joined him at his
side. All were battle worn; bruised and cut from the conflict. He
turned and walked away when he was sure the tree was completely
consumed in flame.
James
walked from the darkness. The sky overhead was clearing and the trees
of the forest whispered in a light breeze. The wolves accompanied him
toward the edge of the woods where they would stay as his protectors.
The hawks flew overhead, diving and soaring on the breeze. The
rabbits had retreated back into the forest. They didn't find battles
appealing. Only one remained behind; Walter. James smiled at Walter
and he swore he got a smile back.
At
the edge of the woods, James hesitated for a moment. Two tears rolled
down his cheeks; one for the loss of something he had carried all of
his life and a second for newly found freedom.
With
one last glance over his shoulder and a contented smile, James
stepped purposefully out of the woods.
Hey, this reminds me of the therapy I’m learning/practicing now. Check out Internal Family Systems and you’ll see how all of your parts are represented here!
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