Sunday, 5 April 2015

Clearing Space

I see plenty of messy spaces when I'm out and about.
I am – apparently – getting back into a relationship with my apartment. I've ignored her for a bit too long. We took a break for a while as we weren't seeing eye to eye and now that there is a bit of a messy undercurrent going on. It's likely not a great thing that I have been coming home from work, crashing on the sofa and pretty much ignoring her. It's strange how that works, no?
Is it odd I'm talking about my apartment like I would a human to human relationship? Not really. Those things which represent us also represent how we see others, our relationships with them and how we view the world.
I know I have gone through several incarnations of myself over the years. In most cases, I can pinpoint where I've reached a fork in the road and took it. Sometimes it was a change in direction and scenery. At other times it was a similar path I had been on when I decided I didn't really want a change of scenery. I'm certainly not the same person i was when I was ten. Nor am I the same person I thought was broken and irreparable when I was thirty-four.
Those are all relationship fluctuations with myself.
Sometimes the change has been influenced from the outside. More often than not, though, it has been influenced by a slight change in perception. A small degree of change now makes a huge difference over time down the road.
The same ideals are present in relationships, whether friendships, familial or intimate. The same ideals apply to our relationships with our home, our car or the tree in our front yard. All relationships come to forks in the road. They all undergo organic change. They all have varying levels of intensity over time. How much we put into those relationships determines how much we get out of them.
How we do one thing is how we do everything and every thing.
Which brings me back to that relationship with my apartment. How can I expect to be clear of mind when I come home every day to clutter? How can I expect to go out in the world in the morning with a clear mind if I have to walk by clutter on the way out the door? How can I expect to be present for friends and acquaintances if my mind is on all the stuff cluttering up my head? It really does make a difference in my view of the world.
A small change in how I treat my physical space makes a huge difference in how I view all other relationships.
Before I can move on to bigger and better things, I have to make peace with where I am and I have to make sure I make space for new experiences to fit in. That includes the physical space I occupy and the people I relate with.
So, I'm clearing my physical space. That, in turn, will clear how I view all other relationships. Choosing a different fork in the road changes everything.