Skipping Off to Grammar’s House

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My name is Ed and I’m a crappy speller.

There are far too many people being axed.

For some reason, there seems to be a pronunciation issue with the word “ask”. It’s coming out as “axe”. I’m not quite sure where this particular articulation came from and it’s quite annoying and sounds violent. The “s” comes before the “k”. Really... it does... honest... I’m not fibbin’.

Also:

• “Than” and “then” are not interchangeable.
• “Your” and “you’re” mean different things and it is confusing when the wrong one is used.
• “Loose” means it don’t fit right and “lose” means you ain’t got it no more.
• “Could of” instead of “could have” proves the writer is lazy.
• “You’s” isn’t a word. The plural of you is “you”. (Just like "moose" and "moose".)
• “Irregardless” will never be a word... regardless of how adamant you become about it.

Why am I resolute about spelling and grammar? Perhaps it comes from my own spelling imperfections and a desire to improve myself. If I were required to spell “hasenpfeffer” to save my life, I would quickly become a figment of my own imagination. Of course, I could simply spell “r-a-b-b-i-t s-t-e-w” and escape the sodden paper sac by trickery. My desire to read apposite spelling and grammar derives from working hard to be accurate and I find it refreshing to see language splashed across my computer screen I can read without extraneous, disruptive thinking. 

1) I used a bunch of words you might not have seen before. That’s why we invented dictionaries. 

2) Yes, hasenpfeffer is a delicate way of saying you’re cooking the Easter Bunny. I wonder if it’s chocolate flavoured. Hmm... 

3) It’s impossible to keep track of the point of what someone is saying if my brain spins off on a tangent trying to decipher words and meaning. 

4) For the record, I spelt hasenpfeffer wrong four times while writing this. 

5) I know we’re all smart enough to get this. We’ve simply become lazy with spelling, grammar and acronyms. (If you don’t know what an “acronym” is, you might want to stop using them. Just sayin’. LOL )

Where am I going with all of this?

I’ve read, recently, a theory by Michio Kaku of how Earthbound society (that’s us) may move from Type Zero to Type One civilisation based on the Kardashev scale. We are currently a Type Zero society, in case you’re wondering, ‘cause we burn dead animals and plants for energy. 

During his talk, Dr. Kaku claims to see two paths which we may travel along based on the crossroads we find ourselves at now. The first path is toward destruction and, on that path, society focuses on differences. The second path leads to a Type One society where the focus is on similarities and working together and our energy usage comes from the entire planet (wind, solar, ambient ground warmth, etcetera).

As an aside, the fork in the road will be chosen in the next 100 years or so. The right choice will affect your kids and grandkids.

The point being, most ills in society which cause turmoil and strife are a direct result of lacking understanding and empathy which can be alleviated by speaking the same language and ensuring understanding between cultures.

Dr. Kaku claims we require four things to become a globalized society; a global communication system (internet and cell towers), a common language (English seems to be predominant at the moment), renewable and non-invasive energy sources and, understanding and acceptance of our differences while focussing on our similarities. Except for that last point, we have the makings of a Type One civilization. 

Personally, I would prefer to follow the path of understanding and acceptance. It sure sounds a lot less painful. If I can understand what you write or say, you and I might avoid many of the conflicts that arise from misinterpretation. We need to speak the same language without misunderstood meaning before we have a chance to live together peacefully. That’s why I’m adamant about grammar and spelling.

All we really need do is stop aks-ing other people.

I wonder if I can get chocolate flavoured hasenpfeffer this Easter.

Namaste