My balance is pretty good. That is, I don't fall off precarious
footings often unless I'm in red four inch spiked heels. (That's a story for
another day.)
I hear frequently the goal in life is to find balance; balance of food
and drink, balance of work and play, balance of emotions, balance of...
whatever. I hear and read it in quite a lot of religious and spiritual
teachings, particularly from Eastern philosophies.
There came a time in my life when I understood (for me) a balanced
life might not be all that it’s advertised to be. There's always a well-meaning
member of sprawling humanity coming along who nudges me far too close to the
edge for my liking. I don't mind the edge once in a while but it is not a great
place to live consistently... unless I acquire a death wish.
The easiest way to attain a balanced life is to sit on a mountain top
with your legs crossed for twenty or thirty years wearing a loin cloth and singing
the praises of “Ohm”. It's also not my idea of true happiness. That brings up
the issue of connection, which, though tied in, is a whole other mangled ball
of string. The idea of sitting on a mountain top only becomes appealing when
things are so messed up down in the fertile, green Valley of Bliss I feel like
hibernating. Otherwise, the mountain-top is just a lonely, unconnected, unbalanced
existence.
It's easy to “feel” balanced when there isn't anyone around to push my
buttons.
The Universe has a funny way of messing up my equilibrium. Every time
I think I have it right, some person or event, which I likely have no control
over, comes along and starts scribbling with a stick in my sandbox. Balance
isn't something that is sustainable and believing you can achieve balance and
hold it consistently will drive you insane. Holding balance is like holding
water by squeezing your fist.
You’ll occasionally find balance and someone or something will come
along and throw it off. It’s a part of connecting with other humans and things
and places.
So, what am I really looking for? In a word, harmony.
Harmony is the acceptance that life will be out of balance from time
to time. Being out of balance once in a while is just the way it is. There is
always someone who will somehow do something that will screw up something of
mine; whether intentionally or not. I can't control anything outside of me, so
why try? Why worry about exterior events and people when I haven't any power or
inclination to regulate them?
When I think of being harmonious, it isn't standing in the Garden of
Eden while birds chirp, butterflies flit from flower to flower around me and
Julie Andrews repeatedly sings a nauseating, barf-inducing melody that pierces
holes in my eardrums. It's more like the credo, “God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.”
Being in harmony is having the wisdom to know the difference.
I think true joy in life comes from being harmonious. It's impossible
to be in a state of continuous joy when I try to keep things balanced because
it's just not the way the world works. If my joy is riding on the idea that I
have to remain balanced, I'm going to be disappointed a lot. There will always be some lion chasing me along a gravelly
path trying to chew on my butt. There will always be a gremlin throwing a
spanner into the works. There will always be some well meaning do gooder trying
to fix me (even though I'm not broken) and make me into some version of what they
think is whole.
The simple truth for me is I need to find acceptance of what is. All
the events and people that wander in and out of my life affecting me in some
way have little bearing on my mental state. I simply have to accept they are
who they are or that the event is just an event. That can only be achieved by
continuing to strive for harmony.
None of this means I am not bothered by an event or don't become upset
at what some people do. What it does mean is I get over it quickly. Even though
I may still be out of balance, there is a harmony in the Universe delivering
what I need to know to move on and learn the next thing.
Oh... and in case you're wondering how harmony works in primary
relationships... sometimes being out of balance in love (in whichever form you
choose to manifest it) is being in perfect harmony with the Universe. Just
saying.
It's exhausting trying to remain on life's balance beam when so many
events are trying to kick me off. I would rather accept that I’ll fall off once
in a while and get back on when I’m ready.
Namaste
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